Circumcision is the only parenting decision I have regretted regarding my now 2 year old son. I thought I researched this topic thoroughly, but the truth was I researched it looking for reasons TO circumcise. Or, at least, the best way to have it done. I didn't look at the bigger picture and review all the reasons why one may not want to. I made this permanent decision FOR my son, before he was ever able to consent.
I thought that because I was waiting until the 8th day, that this procedure would be safer. (Vitamin K levels are naturally at their highest then.) I thought that because I insisted on anesthesia that the procedure wouldn't be a big deal. I thought that because I refused to leave my baby alone and that I would be present for the whole procedure, that he would be ok.
He wasn't. He cried as soon as they strapped his little body into the table. He was scared. He was fully aware, fully feeling, and my poor baby suffered. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong. It's the one time in his whole life that I allowed someone to hurt him and violate his body. I didn't protect him. As his mother, what responsibility is more important?
Even though my son healed without complication, I think about that decision every time I change his diaper. It was one of the most traumatic things I've ever endured, and I can't even imagine what it was like for him. It breaks my heart.
We are expecting our second little boy in two months and he will *not* be circumcised. If he decides for himself that he wants this cosmetic procedure done, I will support him. But it's not my body, it's not my choice. It never was. I just hope my oldest can forgive me.